Gusto Kong Umiyak Pero Ayoko Din

Eto yung mga panahong kahit anong ngiti ko sa labas, sa loob ko gusto kong umiyak, magpakalugmok sa isang kanto, at manahimik.

Pangit na pakiramdam pero eto ang nararamdaman ko sa ngayon.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba to sa PMS kaya nagkanda-letse-letse ang hormones ko o sadyang di lang para sa akin ang araw na ito.

Masakit ang ulo ko kahapon. Ngayon, masakit ang puson at namumula ang mata dahil sa biglaang pag-iyak kanina. Agad kong itinigil kaya andaming kuskos sa mata at ilong ko.

Pero gusto ko pa ring umiyak. At di ko alam ang tunay na dahilan.

Siguro eto ang mga dahilan pero di ako tiyak:

> Gusto kong umiyak dahil nag-away kami ng kuya ko na isinisisi sa akin ang lahat; kesyo madamot daw ako pag sa pamilya na di naman [eto na naman ang luha ko]

> Gusto kong umiyak dahil sa pang-aasar na nakuha ko sa mga ka-team ko sa trabaho. Oo alam kong biro pero dahil magulo ang hormones ko tila nagbabadyang mag-landfall ang mga luha ko sa pisngi ko. Kanina ko pa talaga sinusubukang di umiyak dahil onti na lang babagsak na sila

> Gusto kong umiyak dahil sa kadahilanang di ko mawari. Wala lang. Parang pag umiyak ako, lahat ng sama na nakuha ko sa araw na to eh bigla na lang mawawala.

Magulo, weird, at walang kwenta man ito pero sinasabi ko sa iyo [kung me nagbabasa man nito] na ito ang saloobin ko sa mga oras at panahon na ito. Di kita pinipilit na maki-simpatya o sumalungat o umayon sa akin. Inilabas ko lang ang sama ng pakiramdam ko dahil ayokong biglang umiyak dito sa kinauupuan ko habang kunwari nagtatrabaho pero ang totoo ay ginagawa ang latha na ito [lagot ako sa TL ko pag nalamang di ako gumagawa].

This Is Not Your Typical Drop Box

I watched this video about a certain drop box over the internet and it seriously made me cry.

This is not the typical drop box that you know or ever heard of.

Then a lot of questions sprouted in my head...

Why create children when you can't keep them?

Why do you have to hurt them when you're the one at fault?

Why don't you think of the child's welfare?

Why do you have to abandon your child?

.......

The babies are being left in this container box the Pastor and the people from the orphanage did. They call it 'The Drop Box' due to the fact that babies are being treated like letters in the post offices.

I am one damn lucky child to have my parents with me throughout these years. I do not only pity these children, I am angry to their parents. The pastor is right, this does not only happen to Seoul. This is happening elsewhere too! Even here in The Philippines it's one of the social problems the government is dealing and is until now remains unsolved.

Before I get emotional once again, let me share to you the video that made my Monday morning a bit sad yet real.

Angelie The Optimistic Oddball and The Letter from HR

Warning: This is a Work-related rant so You have the option to read this one or not.

I have been issued a letter from HR due to the excessive tardiness that I have incurred in the past months. I was given a chance to defend myself but I didn't do it.

Why would I tell them that I only incurred minutes of tardiness and not hours? Why should I tell them that it's due to the heavy traffic that I always encounter in going to the office even thou I always leave my place 2 hours before the office hours?

I do not want to make excuses as my Operations Manager had done to me while explaining my part. He kept telling me that I should adjust my body clock [which I am doing even thou it's hard], that I should transfer somewhere near the office [Hell no! As if he will pay for the rent], that I should buy a car [I didn't go for the last option, why should I go for this one too?].

I kept my silence because I know that I have faults in those one-minute-two-minutes tardiness. I should have not taken this route, I should not have walked this way, I should not have done this job late at night so that I could sleep earlier and wake up earlier too.

I kept my silence. Until now.

Upon reading the letter, it says that if once happened again, chances are I might be terminated. Wow, just due to tardiness one can lose her job. Great, just great.

My heart says 'I want to go to the nearest rest room and cry in one of the cubicles there'. Just letting it all out. But at the back of my mind I keep telling to myself this: that everything will be just fine and that I should perform better so that they will not let me go.

Just as what I have posted in my FB profile minutes ago, I am really such an optimistic oddball. Being able to enjoy the puddle while some are pushing me down in the mud is a rare characteristic. And I don't know if I should be happy with it or not. Hahaha

Oh well, whatever they throw at me I will definitely be able to catch it, if not doge it. Unless they start throwing me animal poops.

Toy Photography Anyone?

I'm not really a photographer. I admit that I'm such a noob when it comes to right gadgets and gears and the technicalities the world of Photography brings.

But I do love shooting objects and people. I love capturing images of various sorts.

I am not a Photographer. I am a Photo Enthusiast.

Yep, that's the word I 'coined' way back in highschool since I love taking pictures of various people and events. Even self-shots I do them way back the word 'selfie' became a hit.

 I love portrait and landscape shots of nature and still objects. They're way easier than handling shots of people since I do not process or manipulate my shots.

Recently, I've been trying to get back to photography as I was way back then.

I was trying to learn to shoot nicely again.

And yesterday and today, I had the perfect models. my newly-bought toys from a Japan Surplus shop.

Interesting because they're somewhat related to my otaku world since I am recently starting to build up my otaku shrine.

As I tell you, I am no professional, I am just an enthusiast, a hobbyist. So please do go easy to me. Oke?

Here are my shots taken yesterday and today:

For more updates on this hobby of mine, you may visit my Facebook Page and click Albums under the Photos tab. I'll be uploading them there so stay tuned. ^_^