Love and Longingness

I am single.

What's worse is that I have been in such state since brith.

Yes, you read it right. I haven't gotten myself in any relationship yet. Since then. Until now.

Now, the year has almost passed and I still haven't found or met anyone that would become my 'life partner'.

I even don't have any idea if I have met him already but I just had no clues about it yet or will he still make his ways to me still.

There are times that I really do feel happy with my life. In fact, I am really with the way my life has been. Of course, I do have regrets but looking back, those have taught me valuable lessons in life.

But I also am longing to feel how life could be if I am or was in-love.

I am still pretty young. At my age, 22 [soon to be 23 this coming February], I can still say I am young. In fact, people at first thought that I was in my teens. Such compliment!

But with me in this fast-pacing world, I feel so old with my life experiences. What's worse was that I have already experience some of the hardships in life older people tend to experience in their latter years and yet I haven't felt how it is to be in-love.

Also, people younger than me, literally, have already gotten their partners. Some even have already bore or is bearing a child!

I am not complaining nor comparing. It's more of questioning 'Why them' and 'How about me'.

I should not be asking questions such as those but I cannot help but wonder. Being a natural skeptic, I ask why do things happened to them already when it should be first happened to me.

But then again, I also know for a fact that everything has its own reason and timing. And love does required someone to be rational and seasoned for this.

But if love should be like that, how come there were failed marriages and broken families? How should one keep the love burning till forever?

Days before someone messaged me up, saying that I was too happy with my life, and that I becoming used to being single. This has made an impact to me, psychologically. I really don't know how to react on this that time. I jokingly answered him but deep inside of me I was hurt. I wasn't prepared to receive comments such as that.

People also thought that I am in a relationship, being happy and outgoing. They don't believe me that I am not, and that I didn't have any ever since.

I really do want to know how people perceives me, especially the guys. Back in high school, most of my classmates' commented me as someone who intimidate others. I really don't get it and I don't even know how did I do it. Up to now I still can't fathom how did they come up with that presumption.

Am I undesirable? Am I unworthy of any love? Will I be someone who will ask for love pitifully?

One of my fears is that I grow old without experiencing love and that I grow old all by myself. I really don't want to be lonely. I can be alone but I don't want to feel lonely at all.

Honestly speaking, I am somewhat tired of being lonely. Deep inside I really do want to have a partner already. I even do want to feel how it is to be pursued by someone.

I'm getting older and older each day but I am getting more and more lonely as days pass by.

I really long for love to come. It hasn't come my way yet. I just hope it is already on its way.

One Year and Counting....

In this exact day last year, I attended my first event with the RX Jocks. It was the laser tag tourney held at Lazer Xtreme in Alabang Town Center. I was with the White Team aka Team Pop Pop! that was headed by Fran and Adre of the Awesome Adventures. I won't narrate anymore how I became part of it. There was a different post for that. Just look at my posts. Hehe~

Literal na niluhuran ko si Master. ;)

Unexpectedly, I met a lot of Rushers there, avid listeners of The Morning Rush. I was a silent rusher [those who only listen to the show everyday but doesn't participate in the show's 'activities']. I met Dyn [Ako si DCM now I can be DYNamic] who let me meet Ina [the Butterbaby] and then introduced me to the one and only Master oscar [dela Hopia]. I was starstruck literally and bowed to Oscar that time.

Not only I met the 'legends', I met the people behind the entries. Upon going on our own ways, I hurriedly went to the National Book store and grabbed myself my very own copy of The Morning Rush Top Ten Book 1.

My TMR Book

Ever since I've been an active part of the Rusher community. If I could, I will send in entries. There was some time that everyday I will send in entries for that day's topic and then some will get included in the top ten list, for the whole duration of the show.

Of course, there were times that I don't tune-in, not because I don't want to, but because I have to finish my work. I admit that there were times that my work was at stake if I tune-in all the time, being in night shift. I just have to balance work with listening and joining the fun on-air.

Also, I have won some prizes already to the show. Most people do remind me as the lucky winner of this year's MYOH pair from Havaianas Philippines. Even I can't really imagine that I won such. It was really pure luck. And yes, I was very grateful for the Kikay Barkada for it. :)

At the MYOH First Day

Of course, there were some times that I almost won it. One specific time was when Delle was being picked-on by Chico and Gino and then they had someone to call for the McDonald's McCelebrations promo. I called and sang but somehow Delle got jokingly offended, saying that I couldn't win it. Then the line got cut surprisingly. And then, Kitt Ritche got the prize instead of me having it. Hahaha~

I really had fun with the Rushers. I was able to do some things that I thought I would never do, at all. If I state them here one-by-one then this post might be too long to make you bored. Hehe~

Excitement came again when the Kikay Barkada announced last week that the Book Two of The TMR has been released already. All rushers went berserk in finding and hunting for those treasures. Even I had a hard time looking for them since I was on a night shift and the bookstores are almost closing whenever I arrive at work. I repeatedly went to the same book store every day just to ask for this.

Then came yesterday, 365 days exactly after I bought my first TMR book, I finally bought it! And what's great about it is that I have 2 entries on it!

I really don't expect any of my entries to be included. If there was, I am grateful. If there was none, still I'll be happy for those who has theirs, and still enjoy the book. Two of my closes rusher friends [Master Oscar and Ina the Butterbaby] broke the news to me. Just imagine how frantic I was at those times. Hahaha!

Now, I will savor this book, not just for my own happiness, but for others a well. This book is really something to make you smile even in the gloomiest days of your lives. So, I have to end this post here to re-read again my newly-designed TMR Book 2. ;)

Happy one year to the active rusher me. Cheers to more rushing and kikay-ness to me. :) ^^

The Samurai-ffic Experience

Yesterday, I was able to attend the Advance Screening of Rurouni Kenshin Live Action Drama Movie in SM City North EDSA Cinema 7. I was very fortunate to be one of the winners of last week's promo made by SM Cinema North EDSA.

How did I join in their promo? Simply by following and mentioning @smcinema_north during the promo period. It can be anything! In my case I tweeted them about how much I really like to watch the movie, ever since I learnt about it.

Then come early Sunday morning. As I was waiting for the online streaming of some animes I was watching that time, I received an early tweet from the twitter handle. I was part of the winners' list!

They did DM me of the details. Of course, I got so excited for it, I almost had no sleep thinking about it and who will I bring with me.

I thought of having a contest, just like when I won some advance screening tickets way back in January but no one responded to it. I posted an invite to my first cosplay group, Cosplay Le Familia fb group. Jeff, a cosplayer I met during the Jerry Polence fan meet-up was the only one responded. After some minutes it was decided that he'll accompany me.

Around 3.30 pm, I went on my way to SM City North EDSA to find Cinema 6. Since I was not that frequent to that mall, I need ample time to find where to claim those 'golden tickets'. Luckily, I made it in their office around 4.30 pm. After claiming, I went to the nearest Catholic Church to give honor, praise and thanks to Our Lord, but well, that's a different story. Hehe~

The mass ended 5.45 pm, making me have some 'me time' in Uniqlo SM City North EDSA. Just as I was about to pay, Jeff called me up, saying he was already on-queue. Things got a little more exciting when we were able to meet [in my case, know] some cosplayers on line, so the queuing was not that bad. We even got a chance to be on-cam for some minutes. :D

When the clock hit 7.00 pm, they started to let us in. We chose the Orchestra seats, as per Jeff's decision. Then waited for the movie to start. Of course, it's not that easy. They had to show a bunch of sponsors during the waiting period. I guess they repeated the sponsors' ads for 10x or so.

And I, being not new to advance screenings, expected that there will be some prizes at stake. I didn't get wrong. In fact, I was able to grab a gift certificate from Paire [one of the sponsors] by answering the 2nd question. I really stood up for the 1st one but then a man got ahead of me for a few seconds. Talk about competitiveness haha!

Surprisingly, I saw some Rushers [avid listeners of The Morning Rush in RX93.1] in the house! Well, it was Elen who spotted me first. I don't know how 'coz the cinema was somewhat dim, or just because I was so loud talking to my friends. I was so glad to see Elen and Ron [Moja-jiichan], excitingly went to their place [which was just 2 rows in front of me] and greeted them happily! I was literally shouting and jumping for joy!

Of course, when the movie started, all was quiet... But everyone broke their silence during the fight scenes and the comedic parts! I really love their adoptation. It's really like bringing the anime into life. All were greatly done, even the actors and the stunts.

I really enjoyed the movie. Actually, I was craving for a rewatch upon ending the movie! The movie is really worth the wait! Every petition made was not wasted. It is really one of the best live action drama adoptation I have watched.

Also, I fell for Kenshin's actor, Satoh Takeru. I've been seeing and reading great reviews about him for the role since it was played on cinemas on August this year but little did I know that they were all true! He even surpassed my expectation of his portrayal as Kenshin. He even had the accent!

Good thing that SM Cinemas really made it possible for all otakus, especially the Rurouni Kenshin fans. We are really grateful for this offering. I hope this will open a new door of opportunity to have Japanese-Korean movies straight from their land of origin be played here.

This is a highly-recommended movie, not just for the otakus, but also to everyone. I hope everyone will get a chance to watch this highly-acclaimed movie.